A Journey to Knock Out Toxins 6

By February 12, 2015Uncategorized

The toxin that has the most dramatic impact on my life is the toxin of rejection. I spent the better part of the last month reflecting on rejections that have taken place in my life; ranging from small seemingly insignificant ones to rejections that have had me perplexed and depressed for many years.

I am not naïve by any stretch of the imagination and I am also far from perfect so I do understand that some of them I had my part in. However, that is where the reflecting comes front and center because as I can tell you that I have had my share of rejections that are at a minimum disturbing and curious.

This is not the time or place to reveal specifics since I am giving serious thought to writing about this in much more detail and I need some time to consider that.

Instead I want to concentrate on the ability to focus on the toxin of rejections in our life.

When we are rejected we immediately become devastated with the feeling that we are not loved or cared about. That could be the case, but it also may be a variety of other factors. Either way, we spend a lot of time trying to figure out the reason for the rejection.

Instead, our motivation to knock out this toxin is a choice we have in so many situations – to go into a negative place or to do something about it.

When any disappointment or challenge comes into our life we can choose to sink into a negative place or we can decide to make it a motivator for a hidden passion.

About 30 years ago I was faced with my first real dose of this toxin of rejection. Many images came back to me after my brother, Fritz passed away. For a while I soaked in the toxin and went to the negative place. Then I decided it was a sign for me to do something I always wanted to do. So I decided to begin training Martial Arts and today I am a 3rd degree black belt and still love to train in the discipline.

After careful reflection in the last month on many rejections, it is clear to me what I need to do.

Saving dogs will be my number one priority for the rest of my days I walk this earth. It was always inside me to make this my life, but after this time of reflection in many rejections swirling through my mind, it is feeding this passion.

My challenge to you is to reflect on some of the rejections in your life. Please do not over think it, but let the thoughts settle in your mind for a while.

I am willing to wager that they will send you in a similar direction. A passion will be unearthed and brought to an incredible level.

7 Comments

  • Cary Petry says:

    I think maybe some of us are hypersensitive to rejection and I would be at the top of the list. For reasons that are still unclear to me, I emerged at my first recollection as scared and easily humiliated…………..of rejection, and almost everything else. Essentially I had a compulsion to not disappoint or upset anyone or be humiliated…………especially my mother. I believe I was over protected by her in a way that was not healthy for her or me. I spent the formative part of my life trying to please, and then around 40, I discovered that anger almost to the point of aggression made me feel less afraid (though nothing about the fear had really changed).I had just added a defense mechanism to lessen the negative feelings of rejection and humiliation. So the last part of my life has been a life of continued fear and humiliation but also very lonely because of the use of anger to keep people who could hurt me as far away as possible.
    I am probably more at peace with my self now that any other time in life, but at what a price. Have given up on romance with women having been rendered sexually inadequate most of the time by erectile dysfunction, which I blame on myself only due to performance anxiety. Now that I have had radiation of prostate for cancer and a low testosterone, that is not as much a problem as I have lost almost all desire for sexual intercourse at age 68. However I do find myself desiring a female buddy or friend who might or might not evolve into a sexual partner.
    Probably more than you wanted to know about me, but here I am, not loving animals because I don’t relate to humans well, but knowing deep inside my love for animals would be just as strong if all the human relationship problems had never occurred.

    • Joe says:

      Dear Cary,

      Thank you for sharing your experiences. Loving animals is not only a beautiful trait we share but it is also to be admired and most of all this love is healing in so many ways.

      Peace, Joe

  • Laura Willey-Leroy says:

    My rejection started at birth to three years od when my biologica mother neglected and abandoned me and three of my brothers. For years I held so much anger and resentment for her and then I realised it wasnt my cross to bare. She’s the one on judgement day who has to answer to God about what she did. I fell in love at a young age and his mother seperated us and had him sent away and when he came back he never looked me up but went and married someone else and absolutely broke my heart. He went on/on married /divorced i got into a toxic and very abusive relationship. 30 years later via FB we found our way back together and are happy. I have felt rejection all my life but through counseling and my love for and my faith in God I made it out of that dark tunnel. Ever since childhood animals have been my best friends no matter whether domesticated livestock or wildlife. I found people hurtful but animals loving and faithful. So I have always loved animals more than people.

    • Joe says:

      Hello Laura,

      Thank you for sharing. Many of us have taken our life experiences and decided to embrace something beautiful. You have provided a great example with your love for animals.

      Peace, Joe

  • robyn van dusen says:

    Hello Joe and Daniel,

    thanks for responding to my comment on FB Joe. I will never forget the day, about 2 years ago when you called me. As a fan of you and Daniel, it was all I could talk about for days. You called just to chat and say hi, and tell me more about an event you were doing in Jersey.
    Unfortunately, it was still quite a distance for me.
    With that being said…I would love for you and Daniel to come to Philly. Any of your talks on compassion,toxins,depression, anxiety or teamwork (so many others too) would be a great topic to bring to my accounts.
    Let me explain. I am an RN who has been working in Hospice for 15 years. First, as a field nurse, then as a manager, now as a Clinical Liaison (fancy term for marketer/salesperson).
    There are over 60 Hospice companies (just in Philly). My job is to get doctors, Long Term Care facilities and other Senior Housing environments to use Caring Hospice Services versus another company.
    One of my greatest joys is educating people to not fear this stage of their life. To understand, the GIFT of Hospice.
    Having done this for 15 years, I have seen the evolution of a mostly clinical model of healthcare become also a Psychosocial and Spiritual model/approach to End of Life Care.
    I could go on forever about that, however, my purpose is to present to you my wish.
    As I said, any of your topics (and Daniels presence) go along with my philosophy that bringing education and awareness about everyday life and struggles, feeds into acceptance of Death and Dying.Part of what has made me a success in my current position is bringing a variety of opportunities and “events” to my most dedicated and loyal accounts. Not just for our Hospice patients, but for the other residents, their families and staff.
    I do not know if you charge for this, or how the expense is taken care of..but, I am certainly open to hearing your response.
    We can communicate via email , or you can call me
    215 852 2512 or 484 682 4453

    I look forwarding to hearing from you.
    Love, blessings and thanks to you, Daniel and your family.

    Robyn

    • Joe says:

      Hello Robyn,

      We are looking forward to meeting you in person and inspiring everyone at the event!

      Thank you so much for contacting us

      Peace, Joe

    • Joe says:

      Robyn,

      We are very excited to be coming to meet you and speak at the event.
      Thank you for inviting us!

      Peace, Joe

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